MUST WE FORGIVE?

In our class last Sunday we discussed forgiveness in the family. In the course of the discussion the question was asked if we are to forgive someone before they repent or ask for forgiveness. We had a good discussion, but I wanted to develop it a little further.

First of all, what is forgiveness? I did not do a good job of fully explaining this in class. We talked about it being the releasing or letting go of something. We must determine what the something is that we are to let go. We talked about the letting go of bitter feelings and the desire for revenge, but this is not forgiveness of sins. What if you do not experience such feelings? If the release of those feelings is forgiveness and you never experience them, then you cannot release them so you cannot forgive. What about God? When He forgives us, is He releasing bitter feelings and desire for revenge? Certainly not. Forgiveness is the releasing of sins, the sending of sins away and the restoration of a peaceful relationship which the offence interrupted. Unless the offender wants this relationship to be restored, it is impossible to do so no matter how much the offended may want it.

Some will respond that the Lord says we must forgive if we want to be forgiven. That is certainly true. “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses” (Matthew 6:14-15). I am fairly certain there will be some people who will stand condemned on the day of judgment because they were unwilling to forgive others.

However, we must consider all that Jesus says about forgiveness. He also said, “Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day returns to you, saying, ‘I repent,’ you shall forgive him” (Luke 17:3-4). There is no doubt that we must be willing to forgive one another, but Jesus places a condition on that forgiveness: “if he repents.” Without repentance, there is no requirement for forgiveness.

Let me also say something about repeated forgiveness. In the text in Luke Jesus says that if a brother sins against seven times in a day and repents seven times, we are to forgive him each and every time. Some of us would probably question his sincerity in repenting by the seventh time, but we are not given any such prerogative. We must simply accept the repentance and forgive and leave the judgment of sincerity to God.

As Christians, are we to have a forgiving spirit, always ready to forgive one another? Yes. Are we to go beyond a willing spirit and actually forgive one another? Certainly. However, such forgiveness can only take place when the guilty party repents.
--Lamar